Marriage Vows!!

 

This never is easy- I suppose it would be nice to for once share something that is easy- but I think that this is something that God is working in our lives to make us more like Him... Thank you to all of you who have supported me in my blog writing and sharing things that are not easy for me to share- thank you for loving me anyways and letting me know it- the comments really keep me going. I need my friends to comment- it spurs me on to keep going in this BLOG journey!!
Okay- I wanted to blog about something that God has done in my life over the course of the last couple of weeks( It was a friends idea actually; See your comments really play a part in this).....okay anyways!!!! It reared its ugly head a few weeks back on the night of the Father Daughter Ball - and as I shared that was dealing with alot of emotional vomit a friend lovingly said- " well honey, have you prayed and asked God to reveal to you why you responded that way?" so taking that into consideration I gave my anger and hurt to God; and before things got better they took a turn for the worse. I definitely have a problem with outbursts of rage- ( not easy to confess , but its the truth)
James 5:16
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
I am pretty passive when it comes to conflict- I would much rather avoid it mainly because I know my response when it comes to parenting and marriage!! I think that they don't hear me and that the only way that I can get across is by yelling!!ARGGG!!I know that is not true- it is more of an issue of how I confront the situation.. I just don't!~ I let it go and go on and on until the camels back breaks.... Okay so now that I have gotten that out of the way- Here's what God has been telling me.
"Ronnie you have made a covenant to love your husband.. and you don't.... you have made a covenant to love me.. and well, you haven't.. Love is not something you say - it is something you DO!! How have you been showing love to your husband and how have you been showing love to me? You cannot love him in and of yourself.. because honey, I am LOVE!!! ouch- I love you Father, I read your word, I ask You for help,I.. " But you don't trust me, You have been living in this home with resentment and unforgiveness for things that I have forgotten, I have a future and hope for you and your husband and YOU are in the way" I want you to move aside and stand at my right hand and let me move in the hearts of those that I love, I need you to trust that I am at work in your lives and that I will not leave you here, I have loved you with an everlasting love-No Matter what~~~
So with this .. I got mad at Dave and lost my ring, ( well I chucked it at him and said I cant do this by myself so here you go....) So my ring was nowhere to be found.. Hannah my oldest found the wedding band a couple days later, but the engagement ring was nowhere to be found. I know God was telling me that I would not find it until I would wear it and mean it. I did a little research on the history of the wedding ring and what it represents:
The wedding band's shape represents an unbroken promise of love and commitment. The circle has no beginning and no end; therefore, the marriage has no end.In ancient times, the Egyptians and the Romans shared the belief that a vein from the fourth finger lead directly to the heart. As such, it seemed a logical place for the placement of the wedding band. The practice was passed down and the fourth finger is now universally known as the ring finger.
Okay! So 2 weeks have past and I still have not found my engagement ring... We went to a marriage conference and I didn't want anyone to see that my ring was missing so I turned it over in hopes that none to see so I wouldn't have to lie and say it was in the shop. What I didn't know was that this weekend would be one in which God would place in my heart a deep love for my husband, I love my husband I really do , but this was a different love!! A love that keeps no record of wrong, a love that assumes the best!! a love that.. well here's the verse 1 Corinthians 3:4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
God had done something in me that could be only because I was in a place of humility- I was wrong and I admit it!! My husband does love me and want to be the best that he can be and I am tearing him down all the time because he isn't doing things the way that I think he should or , he's not being the spiritual leader that I think God wants him to be......" So with that I surrendered.
I came home from that retreat a changed woman. As I was picking weeds in my garden and praying that God would bless my husband at work and give him strength and that He would pick all the weeds from our marriage so that He could take root in those areas and low and behold sitting right there in front of me amidst the weeds was my wedding ring :O I really believe that God had sent an angel into our home the previous Wednesday and had it placed there- I say that because we came home that night to our front door wide opened!! Okay it may not be true, but how else would it have gotten outside when where I through it was inside the house in the dining room ? hmm!! I will let you decide what may have happened- but all I can say is that I have my wedding ring back and it is there to stay- and I mean it!!

The Jungle Gym!!

I havent been writting in my blog for the last couple weeks- not that i have a regular schedule - although I love the idea that many have of writting every other day! Anywho!!
I though it would be appropriate to blog about the parenting challenges and convictions that I have been overcoming by the Grace of God.
On Friday of last week Dave ( my husband ) and I thought it would be a great idea to take the kids to a restaunt with an indoor jungle gym and get a little time to 'kick up our feet' and talk while the children enjoyed some much needed running around. So as we finished up our meals and the kids were off playing - Dave and I were enjoying some interupted convo- given we have our one year old running around - so my eye was on him while my ears were on Dave; up until we heard the most horrible screams of what I though were death coming from my two girls- Dave and I were panicing running around this hamster cage of a jungle gym. I had a picture in my head of a child being strangled or entrapted by a net or something- the screams where that horrifying. I couldnt get my girls to calm down to talk to me of what was going on. I finally yelled and said " Hannah, you need to tell me what is going on" She was screaming back to this little boy who was apparantly choking her, punching her in the back , pulling her hair and yes, shoving his hand down here throat" SHe was telling him NO, you stop it" my 4 year old was screaming in fear for what was happening to her sister. This went on for a good 3 minutes until the Father of this little boy went up to get him. I heard them mention " Is he beating her up, long before they went up to get the little bugger. He must have been 3 or 4. Anyways!! with all this I was furious with the way the parents handled the situation:the Mother was standing alongside me to retrieve our children, as soon as he came down, his Father walked by to return to his seat as the Mother glared at me , I got down to eye level and asked my girls what happend, holding them and comforting them, as Hannah told me what this little boy had done, the mother and the little boy began to walk away, I stopped him by scooting over in front of him and told him
" what you did was not okay, you dont treat people that way" his Mom did not like that , and maybe I was out of line for interfering that way, but I was so furious and if his Mom wasnt going to scold him than I was:O Arg!! So the girls were collected and went on their way to playing. The rest of the time there was awkward. This little boy was sitting with his parents screaming and crying that he was sorry, as the Mom continued to stare the glare at me , for what I had said to her son. Man I really felt bad for taking over like that but it was just something that happened. Anyways!! I hear Hannah saying to her friend and sister , obviously for this little boy to hear " yeah! that little boy was mean" I called her down and she took a break as I explained to her," You talking like that of him was just as wrong as what he did to you, God wants You to be forgiving of the wrongs that others commit to you just as God forgives us of ours wrongs" Mathew 6:14 " For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." She went on to tell me that she forgave him, through all his crying that he was sorry- (I believe that he was)Hannah walked up to him and said that she forgave him.
We left that evening and I was wondering why we had gone there in the first place, asking God why? Why did we go there if we would be such a horrible witness- we sat there , prayed for our meal in front of all these people, laughed with eachother , and then things appeared to go bad:( this is how my last couple weeks have gone, we have gone places , without recieving or doing anything that seems to be accomplishable, nothing that just speaks out- "well done, you have been a light and aroma of Christ" which is my prayer when we go out in public. It has been so disheartening to feel like a waste of God's resources. BUT I have been encouraged through this crazy Jungle Gym. I have God on my side- You have God on your side too!! no matter how messy a situation can be . No matter what we face while we are in the Jungle Gym of Life- God will not abandon us when things get rough! He will be there to carry us through. He will give us a way of escape and He will fulfill His purpose.
Psalm 138:8
" The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands. "