I havent been writting in my blog for the last couple weeks- not that i have a regular schedule - although I love the idea that many have of writting every other day! Anywho!!
I though it would be appropriate to blog about the parenting challenges and convictions that I have been overcoming by the Grace of God.
On Friday of last week Dave ( my husband ) and I thought it would be a great idea to take the kids to a restaunt with an indoor jungle gym and get a little time to 'kick up our feet' and talk while the children enjoyed some much needed running around. So as we finished up our meals and the kids were off playing - Dave and I were enjoying some interupted convo- given we have our one year old running around - so my eye was on him while my ears were on Dave; up until we heard the most horrible screams of what I though were death coming from my two girls- Dave and I were panicing running around this hamster cage of a jungle gym. I had a picture in my head of a child being strangled or entrapted by a net or something- the screams where that horrifying. I couldnt get my girls to calm down to talk to me of what was going on. I finally yelled and said " Hannah, you need to tell me what is going on" She was screaming back to this little boy who was apparantly choking her, punching her in the back , pulling her hair and yes, shoving his hand down here throat" SHe was telling him NO, you stop it" my 4 year old was screaming in fear for what was happening to her sister. This went on for a good 3 minutes until the Father of this little boy went up to get him. I heard them mention " Is he beating her up, long before they went up to get the little bugger. He must have been 3 or 4. Anyways!! with all this I was furious with the way the parents handled the situation:the Mother was standing alongside me to retrieve our children, as soon as he came down, his Father walked by to return to his seat as the Mother glared at me , I got down to eye level and asked my girls what happend, holding them and comforting them, as Hannah told me what this little boy had done, the mother and the little boy began to walk away, I stopped him by scooting over in front of him and told him
" what you did was not okay, you dont treat people that way" his Mom did not like that , and maybe I was out of line for interfering that way, but I was so furious and if his Mom wasnt going to scold him than I was:O Arg!! So the girls were collected and went on their way to playing. The rest of the time there was awkward. This little boy was sitting with his parents screaming and crying that he was sorry, as the Mom continued to stare the glare at me , for what I had said to her son. Man I really felt bad for taking over like that but it was just something that happened. Anyways!! I hear Hannah saying to her friend and sister , obviously for this little boy to hear " yeah! that little boy was mean" I called her down and she took a break as I explained to her," You talking like that of him was just as wrong as what he did to you, God wants You to be forgiving of the wrongs that others commit to you just as God forgives us of ours wrongs" Mathew 6:14 " For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." She went on to tell me that she forgave him, through all his crying that he was sorry- (I believe that he was)Hannah walked up to him and said that she forgave him.
We left that evening and I was wondering why we had gone there in the first place, asking God why? Why did we go there if we would be such a horrible witness- we sat there , prayed for our meal in front of all these people, laughed with eachother , and then things appeared to go bad:( this is how my last couple weeks have gone, we have gone places , without recieving or doing anything that seems to be accomplishable, nothing that just speaks out- "well done, you have been a light and aroma of Christ" which is my prayer when we go out in public. It has been so disheartening to feel like a waste of God's resources. BUT I have been encouraged through this crazy Jungle Gym. I have God on my side- You have God on your side too!! no matter how messy a situation can be . No matter what we face while we are in the Jungle Gym of Life- God will not abandon us when things get rough! He will be there to carry us through. He will give us a way of escape and He will fulfill His purpose.
Psalm 138:8
" The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands. "
teatime with predators
8 years ago
You did the right thing. If parents today won't step up, then it's up to someone to, no matter how brief an encounter, instill SOMETHING that may sink in & affect the rest of that child's life...
ReplyDeleteAnd you were a witness... by correcting him AND then correcting Hannah when she was being snotty about it.. you showed that you are consistant in what you say... you showed that mom & dad what follow through & consistancy look like, even if it was akward afterward...
((hugs))
I think you did the right thing too. I think in that situation, the boys mother may go home and think to herself "hmm maybe I need to do more so that other people wont have to correct my son".
ReplyDeleteThat was encouraging to read and sounds to me like you have it figured out :)
Ronnie, Don't be so hard on yourself. Really, that lady was just mad that someone caught her child being such a brat. If someone had done that to my child I would have scooped them right up and taken them to their parent. I mean choking, punching, etc. That is NOT ok. and that kid needed to know it. Where does he see that in the first place, and even think he can get away with something like that. And his parents weren't making him go apologize?!?!?! Sure everyone's kid goes through a hitting/biting stage, but people usually make them apologize and have a time out or something. You were just fine. The girls even went and said they forgave him. I think you guys were a good example. you have to protect your babies, you probably handled it better than i would have!
ReplyDeleteBrooke L
I agree-- you did the right thing...and that's coming from someone who has been on the other side of this situation quite a bit lately. I feel just HORRIBLE when my 3-year-old does something to hurt another child, so you had better believe he is going to get an earful from me (before AND after he apologizes)! It is both embarrassing and discouraging when your little one uses such poor judgment, but that's all the more reason to deal with the behavior promptly. Why on Earth would I give attitude to the parents of my child's victim? That's just absurd! I feel bad for the little boy; his parents sure aren't doing him any favors.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to keep a right attitude when 1) Someone purposefully inflincts pain on your child and 2)people do not want to reconcile and make things right. Makes you really appreciate God's design for the whole process since it leaves everyone with a peaceful restitution. While it is hard dealing with the world in these ways, I can say that you probably did the best you could have given the circumstances. Most parents were never taught communication skills at all so to deal with people duiring conflict, it is just easier to ignore and pretent it didn;t happen. It is also hard to treat a child who is not 'behaving like a child' in a manner that doesn't get his attention. Maybe he is used to intimidating people so the fact that you were not intimidated made an inpact on him and his parents. I am sure the mom's evil eye was just a way of hiding her embarassment of the situation. Don't sell yourself too short hon. At the end of the day we are all still sinners in need of a savior. Sometimes our lights shine in a way that may not "look perfect" but that really isn't realistic. Not dealing with the situation would have even made things worse and IMHO, been a worse witness. We need to speak up for our kids and defend them. If we don't, how else will they see an example of how Christ defends us?
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
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