April 14th - Our house went on the market (an answer to some closet prayers)- thus beginning the declutter process: yardsale, packing "extras" and shipping them to the inlaws and my sister's. Then the showings begin- and with 3 kids , in the midst of Homeschooling and wrapping up the school year- it was hell on earth- I became this "demon" Mom who would turn tyrant at the touch of a pillow that was nicely placed on the couch or a toy that gallanted from the hand of toddler onto the floor- As soon as the house was cleaned a mess would shortly follow- James 1:1-3 " Consider it pure joy my brethren when you fall under various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience" I had a hard enough time with the mere thought that strangers were going to be coming to our home and "snooping" - I wanted these house hounters to at least have something good to say about the space when they are looking for one reason not to consider this their house; one couple came in , saw a hose strayed across the yard (loving everything else about the house) and because they saw this hose- it was an absolutely no!!- another one was - the color of the paint on the wall- loved everything about the house but the yellow paint- its like hello people- havent you ever heard of ... paint?- !! Anyways - I can see that this blog is going to turn into a short novel very quickly if I am not careful! and I would hate to bore you with my wrambling. so moving on... We only had one offer on our home- and I was correctly encouraged thats all it would take.. one person to like your house.. and after 27 showings.. you can say that i was beginning to take it personally.. okay .. it was after the 4th showing.. and after the thoughts would shoot into my mind like a fire has no question it is hot- i began to be flooded with the assumption that this house was a curse in my life for all the mess that we I have made for myself and my family- James 1:4"Perseverance must finish its work so you can be mature and complete, not lacking anything" I began to seperate myself from my family, my kids , my husband thinking that I was destroying them by just being me.. let me just say SATAN IS A LIAR and i was believing all that was being whispered into my ear.
James 1:5 " If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
So with the house being on the market - alot of other things decided to come up from the wood work- God was doing a work in my heart- He wanted me to let go of all the lies, the chaos going on in my mind and heart- I again was not trusting Him, that my life was in His hands and that He made me for such a time as this , to parent these children, to love and help my husband , and to be a friend, a sister a .. you get it.. He loves my kids, husband so much more than I ever could- and yet He chose me to be there to fill a part in their lives -and only through Him could these things blossom into something eternally meaningful <3> James 1:6-8 ""But let him ask in faith , with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. for let not that man suppose that he will recieve anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
I was reminded how He had already moved in my life over the coarse of the last 8 years of my walk with Him, that He had a plan for me , to prosper me , and I could look back and see how he had carried me this far- and for me to recall the many prayers that I prayed regarding foster care /adoption and God revealing to me His will in that regards, and it was on my heart to pray for forgiveness ( James 1:21- "Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overfloiw of wickedness, and recieve with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls") and for me to believe in a time of unbelief; .. if our mission was to do this that God would move on my husband's heart - and when Dave mentioned selling the house- it was confirmation to those many recent prayers- I knew that God was moving and in a literal way- so I could only expect that If God was going to be doing His work that the enemy would try to creep in and destroy His work- and with that I can say that he may have crept in and mingled with my mind and decissions to be in disbelief and unrelience on God's Almighty power in our lives- but that snake didnt win so much as a crumb- His word was at work in our lives- even in the midst of mental disbelief: James 1:22-25 God came in picked me up and loved me and showed Himself to me through it all - and to sum it up - we sold our house on my Birthday!!
" James 1:17- Every good and perfect gift comes down from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning"I know that I know that I know my God lives- He reigns in my heart and in my mind- and no matter how many times I fall - He will be there to lift me up- and enable me to do His will!!
James 1:27- "...to visit orphans and widows in time of trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world"
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